So anyhow
Wasn't getting crazy into drugs or anything like that
But I had one night where I ended up in a taxi cab
And a woman said something to me, kinda rejected me
In, like, a mean way
And I hadn't done anything wild I just expressed some interested
And she expressed interest and then I returned the expression and then she was mean to me
And she didn't reject me, rejection's fine, but she was mean to me, all a sudden
The taxi driver dropped her off, we were in a taxi
Next thing you know, I end up with the taxi driver
Four hours later me and him are doing cocaine together
And I'm driving the taxi
He's in the back, he's in the back with an escort
He bought me an escort I don’t want no escort, you know
Luigi, that was the guy's name
And we're in north Harlem and I'm driving a taxi and the meter is still running I'm still paying for that taxi
[Chorus]
I wasn't getting crazy
But I had one night
I had one night, I had one night
I wasn't getting crazy
But I had one night
I had one night, I had one night
Wasn't getting crazy into drugs or anything like that
But I had one night where I ended up in a taxi cab
And a woman said something to me, kinda rejected me
In, like, a mean way
And I hadn't done anything wild I just expressed some interested
And she expressed interest and then I returned the expression and then she was mean to me
And she didn't reject me, rejection's fine, but she was mean to me, all a sudden
The taxi driver dropped her off, we were in a taxi
Next thing you know, I end up with the taxi driver
Four hours later me and him are doing cocaine together
And I'm driving the taxi
He's in the back, he's in the back with an escort
He bought me an escort I don’t want no escort, you know
Luigi, that was the guy's name
And we're in north Harlem and I'm driving a taxi and the meter is still running I'm still paying for that taxi
[Chorus]
I wasn't getting crazy
But I had one night
I had one night, I had one night
I wasn't getting crazy
But I had one night
I had one night, I had one night
My mother and I were just disconnected, man
You know, she gave us birthdays and she gave us holidays
But she had to work hard
And I think that she
You know, I don't know I don't know if she had the tools, really to make me feel loved
(I don't know if she had the tools, really to make me feel loved)
So anyhow, I got emancipated at 14 I ended up living with a family for the first time, I had my own room and I had peace I had some peace in my life
I mean just, like, moments where I just felt like I could relax a little bit
But this thing inside of me of not feeling okay was still very much there
You know, I developed issues with women where I had a really tough time relating to women and, and trusting women and feeling okay and being able to commit to relationships
And at some point
[Pre-Chorus]
You know, life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit
And I liked cocaine because I would get it and do it by myself at home
At night (at night)
And it just made me feel good and I didn't have to be around other people
I don't know it just made me feel something
It made me feel something
And for so long inside of myself I'd had so many years, really of creating my own feelings on the outside of me but not really having them inside of me
You know, like I just didn't have feelings inside like, I just I
If I wanted to feel something I had to think it up and then act it out and display it as I'd seen it displayed in, like, television or movies or from others
But, the inside of me, there wasn't a lot going on
You know, she gave us birthdays and she gave us holidays
But she had to work hard
And I think that she
You know, I don't know I don't know if she had the tools, really to make me feel loved
(I don't know if she had the tools, really to make me feel loved)
So anyhow, I got emancipated at 14 I ended up living with a family for the first time, I had my own room and I had peace I had some peace in my life
I mean just, like, moments where I just felt like I could relax a little bit
But this thing inside of me of not feeling okay was still very much there
You know, I developed issues with women where I had a really tough time relating to women and, and trusting women and feeling okay and being able to commit to relationships
And at some point
[Pre-Chorus]
You know, life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit
And I liked cocaine because I would get it and do it by myself at home
At night (at night)
And it just made me feel good and I didn't have to be around other people
I don't know it just made me feel something
It made me feel something
And for so long inside of myself I'd had so many years, really of creating my own feelings on the outside of me but not really having them inside of me
You know, like I just didn't have feelings inside like, I just I
If I wanted to feel something I had to think it up and then act it out and display it as I'd seen it displayed in, like, television or movies or from others
But, the inside of me, there wasn't a lot going on
Here, I'll tell you how I got sober, man, let's just, we'll get into it
You know I've been talking about it for a while and there's never, like, a right time to talk about that sorta thing but I do wanna be able to share it with you guys
Because sometime people ask about it and wonder what's up and then
I'll just tell you how I got into that
I was born, I was born My father was, uh, a old man My dad was 70 years old when I was born and my mother was 32 and they had four children
You know, when I was born I think there was, um
Shame or uncertainty by my parents, they had me call my dad by his first name
Instead of calling him Dad because, I guess, maybe they got, you know, a lotta, you know, strange looks from people or, or judgment
And maybe they felt like that was a way That would make it easier
On them and maybe on us too
But my father was very old when I was born as I started to get to know him I was just kinda scared because you know, he was a senior citizen then
You know I've been talking about it for a while and there's never, like, a right time to talk about that sorta thing but I do wanna be able to share it with you guys
Because sometime people ask about it and wonder what's up and then
I'll just tell you how I got into that
I was born, I was born My father was, uh, a old man My dad was 70 years old when I was born and my mother was 32 and they had four children
You know, when I was born I think there was, um
Shame or uncertainty by my parents, they had me call my dad by his first name
Instead of calling him Dad because, I guess, maybe they got, you know, a lotta, you know, strange looks from people or, or judgment
And maybe they felt like that was a way That would make it easier
On them and maybe on us too
But my father was very old when I was born as I started to get to know him I was just kinda scared because you know, he was a senior citizen then