The man I'm talking about was not a scrooge
No, he was a kind, a decent, a mostly good man
Generous to his family and upright in his dealings with other men
But he just did not believe in all of that incarnation stuff
Which the churches proclaim at Christmas time
It just did not make sense and he was too honest
To pretend otherwise
He could not swallow the Jesus' story
About God coming to earth as a man
He told his wife, I'm truly sorry to distress you
But I'm just not going with you to church this Christmas Eve
He said he'd feel like a hypocrite
That he'd much rather just stay home
But that he would wait up for them
So, he stayed, and they went to the midnight service
Now, shortly after, the family drove away in the car Snow began to fall
No, he was a kind, a decent, a mostly good man
Generous to his family and upright in his dealings with other men
But he just did not believe in all of that incarnation stuff
Which the churches proclaim at Christmas time
It just did not make sense and he was too honest
To pretend otherwise
He could not swallow the Jesus' story
About God coming to earth as a man
He told his wife, I'm truly sorry to distress you
But I'm just not going with you to church this Christmas Eve
He said he'd feel like a hypocrite
That he'd much rather just stay home
But that he would wait up for them
So, he stayed, and they went to the midnight service
Now, shortly after, the family drove away in the car Snow began to fall
America's preachers tell me that there is no sermon
Which is looked forward to with less enthusiasm than a sermon about sin [laughs]
Well, that's probably true
If we're talking about a secular sermon on the subject of hard work
Pregnant skyline of America
Was set in place one brick at a time
Now that represents a lot of callouses
America the beautiful is not an accomplished fact guaranteed to remain intact
God shed his grace on thee to be sure, but
This was waste land when God had it to himself
He handed man a hoe and said you want another Eden? All right, earn it
And all that's necessary for the weeds to take over again
Is for you and me to lay down that hoe
Which is looked forward to with less enthusiasm than a sermon about sin [laughs]
Well, that's probably true
If we're talking about a secular sermon on the subject of hard work
Pregnant skyline of America
Was set in place one brick at a time
Now that represents a lot of callouses
America the beautiful is not an accomplished fact guaranteed to remain intact
God shed his grace on thee to be sure, but
This was waste land when God had it to himself
He handed man a hoe and said you want another Eden? All right, earn it
And all that's necessary for the weeds to take over again
Is for you and me to lay down that hoe
If I were the Devil
If I were the Devil
If I were the Prince of Darkness, I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness
And I'd have a third of its real estate
And four-fifths of its population
But I wouldn't be happy until I had seized
The ripest apple on the tree – thee
So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States
I'd subvert the churches first
I'd begin with a campaign of whispers
With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve
"Do as you please"
To the young I would whisper that the Bible is a myth
I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around
I would confide that what's bad is good and what's good is square
And the old, I would teach to pray after me
Our Father – which art in Washington
And then I'd get organized
I'd educate authors in
If I were the Devil
If I were the Prince of Darkness, I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness
And I'd have a third of its real estate
And four-fifths of its population
But I wouldn't be happy until I had seized
The ripest apple on the tree – thee
So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States
I'd subvert the churches first
I'd begin with a campaign of whispers
With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve
"Do as you please"
To the young I would whisper that the Bible is a myth
I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around
I would confide that what's bad is good and what's good is square
And the old, I would teach to pray after me
Our Father – which art in Washington
And then I'd get organized
I'd educate authors in
How come after thousands of years of experiment our new nation has come so far, so fast?
All this in less than two hundred years
What is the secret of our success?
Well, I think it had to do with a basic American’s Creed
Perhaps it never passed a pioneer’s lips in this form, but if it had I think he would have said something like this
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I know that sounds like a trite too simple thing to say, and yet it’s a rare man today who will dare to stand up and say
I believe in my God and my Country and in Myself
And in that order
All this in less than two hundred years
What is the secret of our success?
Well, I think it had to do with a basic American’s Creed
Perhaps it never passed a pioneer’s lips in this form, but if it had I think he would have said something like this
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I know that sounds like a trite too simple thing to say, and yet it’s a rare man today who will dare to stand up and say
I believe in my God and my Country and in Myself
And in that order
About 290 years after Christ a Roman Emperor named Diocletian took over
He really grabbed the bull by the horns. He took over in a period of turmoil and severe depression
The first thing Diocletian did was call in the gold and closed the banks and raised the taxes
He reduced the power of the Senate delegated its power to a lot of little government bureaus
Do you know they even had a Transportation Act back there?
Prescribing the fee required to rent one laden ass per mile and at today’s rate of exchange it would have amounted to about 1/8th cent per mile?
Which meant that in order to make a profit a jack ass would have to carry five passengers
That was simply beyond the capacity of the jack ass
Diocletian put millions of people on the public payroll, but when this failed to do the job, the country was still in trouble, he asked more personal powers for himself
He really grabbed the bull by the horns. He took over in a period of turmoil and severe depression
The first thing Diocletian did was call in the gold and closed the banks and raised the taxes
He reduced the power of the Senate delegated its power to a lot of little government bureaus
Do you know they even had a Transportation Act back there?
Prescribing the fee required to rent one laden ass per mile and at today’s rate of exchange it would have amounted to about 1/8th cent per mile?
Which meant that in order to make a profit a jack ass would have to carry five passengers
That was simply beyond the capacity of the jack ass
Diocletian put millions of people on the public payroll, but when this failed to do the job, the country was still in trouble, he asked more personal powers for himself