Well it's that time of year again we start to feel real happy
Why? Because we're not going to work
If you believe in Santa Claus and you celebrate Christmas
You looking forward to Santa Claus coming down the chimney giving you some presents
It's a real good time of year
So in that good time of year we start to feel real good about ourselves
Start to feel great
So we start making promises to ourselves about hey I'm going to lose some weight, I'm going to do better in school, I'm gonna be better here and be better there
But guess what happens
The real merry fucking Christmas happens when all of that noise is gone
Why? Because we're not going to work
If you believe in Santa Claus and you celebrate Christmas
You looking forward to Santa Claus coming down the chimney giving you some presents
It's a real good time of year
So in that good time of year we start to feel real good about ourselves
Start to feel great
So we start making promises to ourselves about hey I'm going to lose some weight, I'm going to do better in school, I'm gonna be better here and be better there
But guess what happens
The real merry fucking Christmas happens when all of that noise is gone
How come after thousands of years of experiment our new nation has come so far, so fast?
All this in less than two hundred years
What is the secret of our success?
Well, I think it had to do with a basic American’s Creed
Perhaps it never passed a pioneer’s lips in this form, but if it had I think he would have said something like this
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I know that sounds like a trite too simple thing to say, and yet it’s a rare man today who will dare to stand up and say
I believe in my God and my Country and in Myself
And in that order
All this in less than two hundred years
What is the secret of our success?
Well, I think it had to do with a basic American’s Creed
Perhaps it never passed a pioneer’s lips in this form, but if it had I think he would have said something like this
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I believe in my God, in my Country and in Myself
I know that sounds like a trite too simple thing to say, and yet it’s a rare man today who will dare to stand up and say
I believe in my God and my Country and in Myself
And in that order
About 290 years after Christ a Roman Emperor named Diocletian took over
He really grabbed the bull by the horns. He took over in a period of turmoil and severe depression
The first thing Diocletian did was call in the gold and closed the banks and raised the taxes
He reduced the power of the Senate delegated its power to a lot of little government bureaus
Do you know they even had a Transportation Act back there?
Prescribing the fee required to rent one laden ass per mile and at today’s rate of exchange it would have amounted to about 1/8th cent per mile?
Which meant that in order to make a profit a jack ass would have to carry five passengers
That was simply beyond the capacity of the jack ass
Diocletian put millions of people on the public payroll, but when this failed to do the job, the country was still in trouble, he asked more personal powers for himself
He really grabbed the bull by the horns. He took over in a period of turmoil and severe depression
The first thing Diocletian did was call in the gold and closed the banks and raised the taxes
He reduced the power of the Senate delegated its power to a lot of little government bureaus
Do you know they even had a Transportation Act back there?
Prescribing the fee required to rent one laden ass per mile and at today’s rate of exchange it would have amounted to about 1/8th cent per mile?
Which meant that in order to make a profit a jack ass would have to carry five passengers
That was simply beyond the capacity of the jack ass
Diocletian put millions of people on the public payroll, but when this failed to do the job, the country was still in trouble, he asked more personal powers for himself
See ours is not the first by George good government to arise on the world stage, there have been several
Rome, Spain, and Greece, and China, and each enjoyed about a hundred and fifty years at its zenith
And that’s just about our time in the new world
And then each decayed away
Not one of them was ever destroyed by anybody else’s marching legions
Each rotted away morally, socially, culturally, economically simultaneously
You know one of the most cruel paradoxes’ of history is this
[Chorus]
Because each was a good government it bore bountiful fruit and
Rome, Spain, and Greece, and China, and each enjoyed about a hundred and fifty years at its zenith
And that’s just about our time in the new world
And then each decayed away
Not one of them was ever destroyed by anybody else’s marching legions
Each rotted away morally, socially, culturally, economically simultaneously
You know one of the most cruel paradoxes’ of history is this
[Chorus]
Because each was a good government it bore bountiful fruit and
Now then, what makes a nation strong? Taxes? (Heh)
There’s nothing new about those either, the first income tax was paid by Abraham
It was written on a rock by the hand of Divinity and handed to Moses at the top of Mount Sinai and you might want to remember this, it was at the flat rate of 10%
It promised the wrath of God on anybody who tampered with or violated that law
Christ was born in Bethlehem because Joseph was on his way to pay his taxes
Joseph was a relatively well-to do landowner
Yet the taxes exacted by Caesar Augustus were so exorbitant that he didn’t have enough money left over to employ a trusted messenger for the mission so, though his wife was great with child, he made the journey himself
(Journey himself)
(Bucko)
And Christ was born in Bethlehem because Joseph was on his way to pay his taxes
And Christ was born in a manger because there was a housing shortage when he got there
Our problems are not new
[Chorus]
Christ was born in a manger
Because there was a housing shortage
Our problems are not new
Christ was born in a manger
Because there was a housing shortage
Our problems are not new
There’s nothing new about those either, the first income tax was paid by Abraham
It was written on a rock by the hand of Divinity and handed to Moses at the top of Mount Sinai and you might want to remember this, it was at the flat rate of 10%
It promised the wrath of God on anybody who tampered with or violated that law
Christ was born in Bethlehem because Joseph was on his way to pay his taxes
Joseph was a relatively well-to do landowner
Yet the taxes exacted by Caesar Augustus were so exorbitant that he didn’t have enough money left over to employ a trusted messenger for the mission so, though his wife was great with child, he made the journey himself
(Journey himself)
(Bucko)
And Christ was born in Bethlehem because Joseph was on his way to pay his taxes
And Christ was born in a manger because there was a housing shortage when he got there
Our problems are not new
[Chorus]
Christ was born in a manger
Because there was a housing shortage
Our problems are not new
Christ was born in a manger
Because there was a housing shortage
Our problems are not new