Well there's plenty of things to criticize about being
It's tragic and there's malevolence that's basically the issue
And you can complain about that
But the thing is if you complain about that if you adopt that attitude
Which is sort of an anti being attitude
You go places that if you knew you were going you probably wouldn't want to go
It's the places where like the kids that showed up Columbine web
Those are bad places
If you read the writings of the Columbine High School kids and you really read them
If they don't make the hair stand up in the back here you are not paying attention
It's tragic and there's malevolence that's basically the issue
And you can complain about that
But the thing is if you complain about that if you adopt that attitude
Which is sort of an anti being attitude
You go places that if you knew you were going you probably wouldn't want to go
It's the places where like the kids that showed up Columbine web
Those are bad places
If you read the writings of the Columbine High School kids and you really read them
If they don't make the hair stand up in the back here you are not paying attention
There is this idea that Young had which I really love which is the idea of the shadow
Which is the dark side of humanity
Its roots reached all the way to hell
He meant something very specific by that
The metaphysical element was he meant hell literally and metaphysically
But he also meant that if you were able to understand your dark side
Then you would see in yourself a reflection of the behavior that was present at Ashwood's
And that the reason that people don't take the dark side of themselves seriously at all
And even confront the fact that it exists is because no one wants to see that reflected within them
And no wonder
Which is the dark side of humanity
Its roots reached all the way to hell
He meant something very specific by that
The metaphysical element was he meant hell literally and metaphysically
But he also meant that if you were able to understand your dark side
Then you would see in yourself a reflection of the behavior that was present at Ashwood's
And that the reason that people don't take the dark side of themselves seriously at all
And even confront the fact that it exists is because no one wants to see that reflected within them
And no wonder
As a Clinical psychologist
I spend 20 hours a week for 25 years listening to people tell me about their lives
And those people were people who were just barely hanging on to the bottom of the world
Up to people who were so successful you could hardly believe it
Being a clinical psychologist if you really listen is like
Being immersed in a Dostoyevsky novel all the time you know
Because it's amazing what people tell you if you listen to them
Because they're so peculiar like they're like penguins or rhinoceroses or ostriches
They're unlikely creatures
Well you got to improve right?
And you might think while I'm a real fixer-upper and I'm really embarrassed about that
I spend 20 hours a week for 25 years listening to people tell me about their lives
And those people were people who were just barely hanging on to the bottom of the world
Up to people who were so successful you could hardly believe it
Being a clinical psychologist if you really listen is like
Being immersed in a Dostoyevsky novel all the time you know
Because it's amazing what people tell you if you listen to them
Because they're so peculiar like they're like penguins or rhinoceroses or ostriches
They're unlikely creatures
Well you got to improve right?
And you might think while I'm a real fixer-upper and I'm really embarrassed about that
If you have a friend and you tell the bad news there ought to be sad and you can tell them
They will listen
You know they'll listen
They'll take the damn pain
And they won't tell you about some worst thing that happened them defensively sake
And they won't secretly be happy that you got knocked off your pedestal
They'll listen
And then another thing is this if you have a friend and something good happens to you
They’re happy
Like you have an ethical responsibility to take care of yourself
You have an ethical responsibility to surround yourself
With people who have the courage and faith and wisdom
To wish you well when you’ve done something good
They will listen
You know they'll listen
They'll take the damn pain
And they won't tell you about some worst thing that happened them defensively sake
And they won't secretly be happy that you got knocked off your pedestal
They'll listen
And then another thing is this if you have a friend and something good happens to you
They’re happy
Like you have an ethical responsibility to take care of yourself
You have an ethical responsibility to surround yourself
With people who have the courage and faith and wisdom
To wish you well when you’ve done something good
I read this piece of work by Yung a long while back
It was a meditation on the injunction to treat your neighbor as you would like to be treated
And what Yung pointed out which I really liked
Was that an injunction to be nice to other people
It was an invitation to reciprocity
It was something like this
Is like you should figure out how you would like to be treated like you were taking care of yourself
Not how you would like people to respond to you
It's more important than that
It's like imagine you had a child that you really cared for
And someone said “Well people will treat this child exactly like you want them to”
“But you have to figure out what that is.”
And so, then you'd have to sit down for like a month
And you think okay well how do you want your child to be treated
You don't want everyone just to be nice to them
You know you want people to challenge them and you want people to discipline him
It was a meditation on the injunction to treat your neighbor as you would like to be treated
And what Yung pointed out which I really liked
Was that an injunction to be nice to other people
It was an invitation to reciprocity
It was something like this
Is like you should figure out how you would like to be treated like you were taking care of yourself
Not how you would like people to respond to you
It's more important than that
It's like imagine you had a child that you really cared for
And someone said “Well people will treat this child exactly like you want them to”
“But you have to figure out what that is.”
And so, then you'd have to sit down for like a month
And you think okay well how do you want your child to be treated
You don't want everyone just to be nice to them
You know you want people to challenge them and you want people to discipline him