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It is really quite the bloody thing how utterly delightful andĀ supportive everyone here is,Ā particularly considering my Mexican is Unit 1 DuoLingo level (Maxed out purpleĀ everything but still), and my CrossFit is below high school level. If they speak English, they ask me howĀ Iām doing andĀ congratulate me on not being dead on the floor in a wet pile, and if theyĀ donāt speak English they smileĀ andĀ fist bump me.Ā
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I am by far the leastĀ experienced and skilled in the theĀ entire building, butĀ literally no one has doneĀ anything to make me feel bad about it. To be fair, Iām not sure they COULD, as I am veryĀ comfortable with theĀ truth of my position within it all, and just very excited and grateful to be here, at this stage in my life were IĀ think Iām finally mentally ready toĀ actively aim atĀ mastering my ownĀ physicality.Ā
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I spent the past 7 years working through a number of mental issues that had been holding me back, or down, orĀ somewhere other than the place I wanted to be - borderline psychotic-abusive self talk, myĀ entirelyĀ terribleĀ relationship with money, alcohol andĀ other such dependencies, decades of socialistĀ indoctrination, allĀ that. Iāve done very well with all thoseĀ afflictions, thought thereās aways work to beĀ done, vigilance must beĀ maintainedĀ strictlyĀ andĀ aggressively, as the old demons will pop back out at the first sing of weaknessā¦ and now, it is time to get thisĀ race car cracking before itās time to dash the fucker off theĀ proverbial cliff.
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Anyway, today they had us doing a shit-ton of presses and pushups and pullups and run around the blocks andĀ swangs and presses and holdĀ weights in theĀ airĀ whilst lying on onesĀ back with feet in the air which fucking STINGS, holy cow,Ā I was notĀ expecting that, and I was literally laughing out loud after about half an hour of this whenĀ I couldĀ literally no longer press 20 (twenty) flipping pounds above my head as my arms were shaking so bad andĀ had decided to refuse toĀ communicate with my brain in some horrified act of rebellionĀ against the host.
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Did someĀ stretching at the endĀ which was shocking delightful, for theĀ first time everā¦ I noticed myself sayingĀ āooooh thatās NICEā out loud in a sort of out of body fashion at the end as I was tripping out hard from the activity times heat times lunacy of it all I seemed to be floating above my body somehow.
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Very cool.Ā Back to the crib toĀ chillĀ withĀ familia and work onĀ music. Back at it tomorrow. Lucky mud.